This is the hardest letter I've had to write...
This is my letter to you about the time that I did not break up with the man who isn't your father. I wish I could say that I ended my relationship with him when I originally intended to, and when I first thought to write you this note, but out of fear, complacency, and insecurity I chose to stay with the man who isn't your dad.
Darling, you will face such a time as this. You will go through heartbreak but I pray that you will have the wisdom and strength to avoid the mistakes I put myself in. One of my biggest mistakes was the first man I loved.
You see, we were both attracted to each other, and that's what brought us together but it wasn't what made us stay together. A lot of insecurity made us stay together. We were two incredibly broken people who had too many faults to be able to work them out while considering someone else's feelings.
While you grow up, you have the blissful freedom of knowing who you are while you're figuring out who you want to be. It's a blessing and a curse. You have so much freedom but so little wisdom... making mistakes along the way is almost guaranteed. But it's what you do in and beyond those mistakes that help mold you into a more beautiful and strong woman than you already are. Hopefully, your father and I, your family, have done a good enough job of building a base for you to be able to search for yourself independently.
Your grandparents raised me well. At a young age, they understood who I was and what I needed, at least your grandmother did. I was a tough girl who had to come to the conclusion on her own, even if it took days or longer (which is my norm). If it weren't for their divorce, I can say that I wouldn't have chosen to be friends with a certain crowd or be with some guys that I have been with in my past.
But ultimately, I am the one responsible for my actions. I was missing a lot of love from your grandfather; he withheld that love and I sought to find what was missing with other guys in their affection and love, regardless if it was pure and honest or not. Just to bring you to the end of the story, it was the opposite of being pure and honest.
You may come across a time, sweetie, that you find yourself where I was: where you need to choose yourself and wellbeing over the fear of losing your dreams. You know what is best for you but I pray that you will have the assurance to carry out your decision. Because you are worth every bit of goodness and hope that there is in this world.
If you do not choose yourself, fear will creep in and evolve if you do not act. It'll develop and overwhelm you to the point of paralyzation. You'll convince yourself that any move is a bad move. Staying in a place or relationship where this is the common result is toxic. That was my relationship with the man that isn't your father.
Daughter, do not forget how precious and fearless you really are. You are strong and a go-getter, independent and motivated. Do not forget who you were as a child while you are growing into a woman. You will find yourself looking back on your childhood when you were only afraid of the dark and fictitious monsters, relishing that those were your sole fears.
To end this letter, Sweet Girl, you are made for more than this struggle, and more than a single relationship. God has descriptive and massive plans for you. Take your days to know Him and He will lead you in those plans. You'll be in these incredible plans and will not even know until He reveals all that He's done for you to get where you are.
God did not give up on me when I was far away from Him, and He will not give up on You.
I love you more than you know, Daughter and I can't wait to meet you and know you.
Love,
Your Mother
Written 09/29/2015
You see, we were both attracted to each other, and that's what brought us together but it wasn't what made us stay together. A lot of insecurity made us stay together. We were two incredibly broken people who had too many faults to be able to work them out while considering someone else's feelings.
While you grow up, you have the blissful freedom of knowing who you are while you're figuring out who you want to be. It's a blessing and a curse. You have so much freedom but so little wisdom... making mistakes along the way is almost guaranteed. But it's what you do in and beyond those mistakes that help mold you into a more beautiful and strong woman than you already are. Hopefully, your father and I, your family, have done a good enough job of building a base for you to be able to search for yourself independently.
Your grandparents raised me well. At a young age, they understood who I was and what I needed, at least your grandmother did. I was a tough girl who had to come to the conclusion on her own, even if it took days or longer (which is my norm). If it weren't for their divorce, I can say that I wouldn't have chosen to be friends with a certain crowd or be with some guys that I have been with in my past.
But ultimately, I am the one responsible for my actions. I was missing a lot of love from your grandfather; he withheld that love and I sought to find what was missing with other guys in their affection and love, regardless if it was pure and honest or not. Just to bring you to the end of the story, it was the opposite of being pure and honest.
You may come across a time, sweetie, that you find yourself where I was: where you need to choose yourself and wellbeing over the fear of losing your dreams. You know what is best for you but I pray that you will have the assurance to carry out your decision. Because you are worth every bit of goodness and hope that there is in this world.
If you do not choose yourself, fear will creep in and evolve if you do not act. It'll develop and overwhelm you to the point of paralyzation. You'll convince yourself that any move is a bad move. Staying in a place or relationship where this is the common result is toxic. That was my relationship with the man that isn't your father.
Daughter, do not forget how precious and fearless you really are. You are strong and a go-getter, independent and motivated. Do not forget who you were as a child while you are growing into a woman. You will find yourself looking back on your childhood when you were only afraid of the dark and fictitious monsters, relishing that those were your sole fears.
To end this letter, Sweet Girl, you are made for more than this struggle, and more than a single relationship. God has descriptive and massive plans for you. Take your days to know Him and He will lead you in those plans. You'll be in these incredible plans and will not even know until He reveals all that He's done for you to get where you are.
God did not give up on me when I was far away from Him, and He will not give up on You.
I love you more than you know, Daughter and I can't wait to meet you and know you.
Love,
Your Mother
Written 09/29/2015
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