To My Mom

Today is my mom's birthday and I'm such a good daughter that I'm not going to tell you her age. In my mind, she's has forever been 50 years old. You see, we got new phone numbers back in the olden days when you weren't able to keep your current number after you switched services (#firstworldproblems) and she told me how she remembered the last four of her number - 5149, "I'm right in-between", she said. So hence, she's been 50 for years.

She's the best and I don't tell her enough, or at all even. (Ah! I'm a horrible daughter!)

But I miss her.

She has put up with so much of my anger, my spite, my fears, my yelling and crying, my scary adventures, my doubt, my irrationality as a teenager, my irrationality as a college student, my irrationality as a now adult. (God be with all moms of girls.)

Oddly enough my mom, not me, is galavanting around in another country for her birthday! She's basking in the sun and living up the "Pura Vida" in Costa Rica with my sister, brother in law, and her three stinkin' cute grandchildren.

But I miss her.

I've always been independent and have lived away from home since I could live away from home. My mom and I are not the type that talk to each other every day or even every week. When we talk, it's special and meaningful to me. I know that what we're sharing is intentional.

I call my mom when I need help and advice like any other normal kid. I did that just the other day while she was in Costa Rica. I couldn't actually call her because she was in another country. My iphone was broken so my way of Face-timing and Skype was out. I had to call my sister through Facebook Messenger (#firstworldproblems) so I could talk to my mom.

I was having a mini panic attack and when the world is crumbling around you, that's exactly when you need your mommy. I just needed someone to listen and empathize because nothing could be fixed in that moment. She did that for me while we were in different countries as I laid crying on the floor and feeling so hopeless. Even if you can't have your mom hug you, you just need to hear, "Honey, it's going to be okay." Even if you don't believe yourself, you still believe her. Because Mom's are always right.

She's always there for me.

But enough about me.

I only remember a minuscule amount out of a billion times that my mom has been there for me...and Facebook helped with that. But here's a few pictures and memories that make me love my mom a bajillion more...

My mom came from Indiana to celebrate my graduation from ministry school in Nashville, TN. She also surprised me by bringing two of my best friends from high school into town too. She bought us all ice cream at Maggie Moo's and tickets to see one of the funniest comedy shows that I still laugh about to this day. (I don't know where that jacket it. I miss that too.)

• All the goodies my mom makes for Christmas - whoopie pies, fudge, christmas cookies, coffee cake, shrimp. She always knows what we like! The little gift baskets for holidays like Easter, Valentine's Day, Christmas stockings. Those were always special things that I looked forward to because I knew how much thought she put into them!

Family selfie in our hotel room in Carlisle, PA where we got to be together to celebrate my little brother getting married! Mom paid for the whole hotel room for us + food + brought me a gift because she didn't want me to feel left out since Kyle got a wedding present and Krista turned 30! Cue: "Aww!"

• I'm always traveling for work over my birthday in November and she has always, always sent me some present or surprise in whatever state I happen to be in. This year, she sent me Sharry's Berries (delicious!) and an adult coloring book complete with a pencil set that everyone has been jealous of. She even said that this was a "leap of faith" present because she didn't know if I'd like it. She was right -- like always.

College graduation! I remember not even wanting to walk or go to the ceremony but I'm glad I did so that I could celebrate with her. We had dinner with my parents plus their new spouses and it was the first time we'd all been together. It could've been really awkward but my mom is courageous and strong and is amazing.

• She supported me and came to a few college soccer games even though I didn't start and rarely played because of an injury. She's the best soccer mom.

Anyone who is related to my mom's side of the family knows exactly what this is -- Pie Night at Central Manor Camp! This is one of my favorite pictures of her in one of her favorite places. She just looks so genuinely happy and alive. She's always loved to serve and even in a fun night like Pie Night, she's serving well.

• My mom did so much "behind the scenes" when I was a kid that I didn't notice until I became an adult. She got everything ready when we went camping or on road trips, took me to countless soccer practices (some super early morning) and games, taught me when I didn't want to learn, let me play outside and be a free-spirit because she knew I wasn't ready to be in school, played games with us kids, and taught me how to use feminine products. You don't forget the things that your mom does for you.

My mom has always been ready with advice, counsel, and wisdom - even when I've never requested it ;) She's smart, wise, well-equipped, strong, courageous, beautiful, takes on challenges that I never would, freely gives, spiritual deep and strong, loves a lot and never gives up. There's so much that I am because of her.

Happy "50th" Birthday, Mom!