My life has always consisted of traveling, adventure. But it took a backhold to paying for gas and other "necessities". Then came college where I really felt the heavy pressure of loans and the need to pay for them. (One summer I had 3 jobs, and don't ask me how I time-managed it all plus enjoying friendships but I became a wonderfully detailed girl, and still had time for travels.) During the years where everyone said to travel, I worked. I worked when I had no real bills to pay. I learned a whole lot about white-collar, minimum-wage, real-world entrepenuer-ing but I'm not necessarily proud of the fact that I can carry 4 plates full of food to a table, although it is a nifty time saver when I'm clearing the table at home after a meal. Now, I'm making up for the time when I said, "I'll travel later." I put my work ahead of my desires but now I'm letting my adventurous spirit forge ahead. It's simply a choice.
So I've put traveling at the front of my to-do list. In the past year and a half, my travels haven't been for a few days or vacation-esque but for months at a time. I've left my home and tried to live in another country. For me, to leave "home" isn't the issue or the hard part, it's when I'm away and after I've said goodbyes that becomes the difficulty, where I feel most weak and afraid. I'm not scared to travel but I dread saying goodbye's. I know what's going to happen next.
You aren't in the routine anymore, and quite honestly, people forget about you. Or least you feel forgotten. That turns into feeling abandoned and it's hard not let that slide into bitterness. When I see groups of friends here doing what I miss so much from my own back home, I long for that same kind of connection, and even the internet can't replicate it.
You can't have the person to person interaction, so what can you have when you're so far away? It becomes about the simple things. A Facebook message or post, a Skype session (but only if the internet signal is strong enough) a phone call, a letter. You have no idea how much the little things matter when they only come once every few weeks, or months, or hardly ever. A phone call has literally changed my entire WEEK. I don't feel left out, forgotten, but I feel connected to the life that I was once apart of.
But what I forget is that those friendships happened over time, with lots of investment, and similarities between us. We studied homework together, destressed by talking about those awful customers where we waitressed, or pointed out that cute guy walking around campus. In an instant, we came to the defense of our "bestie", possibly with chocolate or a drink, when the complete idiot broke up with her. (How could the douche not see what we saw??) We sympathized, encouraged, and loved each other.
It's daunting to start friendships all over again, no matter where you are. It's heartbreaking to see those friendships slide farther away. At times, I don't even want to replicate my friendships from the states, and at other times, I want to forget all about them so I can fully replace them here. Both aren't good ideas. It's hard to let go, to not know what's happening in your dearest friends' lives simply because you live in another place. I still haven't found or experienced that "happy medium" where you can have both well.
This blog post isn't going to sum up nicely or give any type of counsel to someone looking for answers. I'm going to end it with my own thoughts saying don't forget about the friends and family that are far away, or on the other side of town. If you think about them, tell them. Make an effort and be intentional because it means the WORLD, especially when you're on the other side of it.